Disappointment

"Death is never an easy thing to face,

But it must be faced, or it cannot be conquered."

The guy who normally makes these posts said that. And he's died a lot of times in Minecraft, so I think he knows a bit more about death than you do, pally.

Now, where were we?

I WAS escaping from the comments box.

Oh right, Minecraft.

Now to find some cows! Why do I need cows? Don't ask stupid questions.

So, why do you need cows?

WHAT DID I JUST SAY.

I found some cows, please stop yelling?

This is what I think of your cows!

NOOOOO! Mr. Moo-moo!

That shall teach you!

No! I refuse to let this travesty stand!

You shall not escape from my master plan!

Master plan?

Of course!

Which is...?

To take over the world!

SUDDENLY, A WILD GALLERY APPEARS!

You cannot defeat me! Wait. CURSES.

Now that we have returned to normalcy, it's time to tech!

You may have won this round, non-italicized text, but I shall remain. Waiting. Watching

But one cannot simply place a cake, that would be anticlimactic.

One must first build a grand monument to honor the cake!

It shall be 60 blocks tall! 600 blocks wide! And made of obsidian! It shall be the new monolith! For cake! For that is the greatest reason to build something large and stupid!

Eh, Lapiz Lazuli is sort of like obsidian.

Close enough.

After that I descended back into the depths of the earth to try and find some diamonds, any diamonds. Seriously, I've been looking for diamonds this entire time and I haven't even seen a single one.

This has just gotten silly. Oh goody, I just dug into an abandoned mine.

Peachy.

Those are spider webs that can be cut with a sword to get string in case you haven't gottten a bow yet, I have one, I just don't have it on me, I wasn't expecting to find a mine.

Oh, and now there are blue spider spawners.

And it's surrounded by webs. Somewhere there is an arachnophobe crying.

Oh, but wait. What's a blue spider you ask?

Well it's simply. It's like a regular spider, but smaller.

Well, it's a spider, and it's blue.

Oh, and they poison you.

Oh and if you're wondering, the angry eyes are from Hardcore mode, the green is from the poison.

Doesn't matter though, because that's an old feature, one of the new exciting features however is tool repair!

Just take any two of the same tools, craft them together...

Like so...

And you'll get a tool with an greater durability then the total of the two.

Also:

HI. BILLY MAYS HERE FOR MINECRAFT MANLY MODE.

The new camera can cause some silly effects.

Also: NEVER hit the right hand side of the keyboard. They are cinematic camera controls, and they will break your viewpoint. Seriously man, don't do it. My friend messed with them and he never got things back to normal. The closest he got was with everything mirrored. And everyone knows that Steve? is right handed.

OR IS HE?

Yes, he is.

 'What's this room for?' I imagine you ask yourself.

Does this help?

Not really. I was there when you dug it and I don't know what's going on.

This room is going to be my mushroom farm! I have a farm for everything else, might as well have one for mushrooms!

And since no home is really complete without copious amounts of lava hanging around, I'm going to fill that ditch with lava, then cover it with glass, with dirt on the raised section.

Oh, look, it's a mini slime. Also, are you SURE you aren't a bond villain?

Well, you know what they say about fire.

If you play with it, you'll fall in lava, won't be able to get out, and burn to death.

Are you SURE that's the what they say?

And... dead.

Yep, dead. I wonder what 295 means.

So, yah. That sucks.

I was actually enjoying this save.

I had multiple working farms, full iron, was replacing my bedroom with a library, had conquered the known world, and still hadn't found any diamond.

But, one must move on!

The final Minecraft 1.0 release build is finished. Not actually released, but it's done, and ready for presenting. Who knows what wonders will await us in the far, far, flung future where we can expect...

MINECRAFT 2; ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

Notch owes me $5 for that name.

Until we meet again.

--DESMOND